The Backpacking Cakester's Back

And she's pissed.

OUTRAGED!!

Tasteless slabs of cardboard are infiltrating our culture.  Destroying our pallates.  Polluting our youth.

Well, I'm not going to stand for it.

IT'S WAR!!

DO YOU SERVE TASTELESS SLABS OF CHEMICAL AND TRANS-FAT LADEN, PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR CAKES??

Then be afraid. 

BE VERY AFRAID.

I've gone incognito.  This is hard-hitting CAKE JOURNALISM.

So watch your back. 

Out.

Psst...Hey....Anyone Know Where I Can Get Me Some Dragees?

Does anyone out there know John Grisham? No, I don't mean 'know of', I really mean know - personally. If you do, would you please forward him this request?

Dear John Grisham,

We need a comedy. A comedy about a California lawyer and some dragees (the little silver balls that we use as decorations on cakes and cookies, pronounced 'drah-jays'). I'm sure you could write it a million times better than I could, so I'm just going to give you the gist of it.


There's a lawyer in Napa who had the gall to start freaking out over the distribution and use of these little silver balls we call 'dragees'. Incidentally, my husband calls them 'ball bearing candies', as you can see above. Yes, he helps me organize my cake stuff from time to time and sometimes he gets carried away.
So, this guy decides in the early 1990's that its his mission in life to save our children from the possible ill effects of eating these evil dragees. Not that anyone has ever gotten sick off of these things. Really. He even concedes to that.
So our friend here bullies the McCormick Spice Company to pull these off the market, and they do. Next, Martha Stewart has the audacity to feature some very beautiful cookies decorated with dragees and he goes after HER!! At least four other distribution companies have been sued. Imagine that piece of certified mail! "Dear Madam or Sir, you are being sued for selling/promoting the little silver balls that everyone has been eating for a hundred years. Hope you have a lot in savings. Love, The Napa Lawyer."
Seriously! There are hard working people here who were completely blind-sided by this guy. Some of the bakers in this article wouldn't even reveal their names for fear of being sued.
Remember, NO ONE has actually fallen ill from the consumption of dragees. Now, maybe if our kids sprinkled them on their cereal every morning...maybe. But how many do we consume in one year? Ten maybe?
The FDA put a warning on the box, and even labeled them "not for consumption". But oh no, that wasn't good enough. Chumptastic decided that he didn't only want them pulled off the market in California, he wanted them OUTLAWED!! Now soccer moms and unassuming cake ladies everywhere are looking over their shoulders. People are bringing suitcases of them home from France (where you know, everyone is sick because of them). Put them on a cupcake, and you might as well just sprinkle the damn thing with marijuana.

Mr Grisham, I know that you can see right through this dragee business to the probable conspiracy. It's my opinion that something BIGGER is behind all of this. Maybe a political scandal ("don't tell the senator or we'll spill the dragees"), or maybe some gang lord that really hates dragees because they remind him of his painful childhood (cause his dad was a gangster and later his mom and uncle tried to bump him off). See what an expert I am? Really. I know what I'm talking about here.

Thanks for your time,

The Backpacking Cakester

I used the last of my dragees for these cupcakes. And yes, I did purchase them in Europe. I smuggled them in my baby's diaper.

Incidentally, if you do want to order some of these little balls of death, you can go here. But not if you life in California. Sorry. You might just be arrested.

Ball-Bearing Cupcakes Of Death

AKA - Napa Supremes

The Cake:

3 cups sifted all purpose flour

1Tbs baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

2 cups sugar

4 large eggs

1 cup milk

1tsp vanilla extract

Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

In large mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Whip till light and fluffy.

Stir in 1/2 cup of the flour mix, then a splash of milk. Continue to add the flour and milk alternatively. Do not whip. Just stir gently.

Add vanilla extract and stir.

Pour into prepared cupcake tins and bake at 350 degrees F, for 10-15 minutes.

Icing:

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

3-4 cups powdered sugar

2-4 Tbs milk

pinch of salt

1 tsp vanilla

Whip the butter until light and fluffy. Add 3 cups of powdered sugar. Add 2 Tbs of the milk. Add the salt and vanilla. Taste. If it's too runny add more powdered sugar until the desired consistency is achieved. If it's too clumpy, add 2 more Tbs milk.

I used a large star tip to pipe the icing on these cupcakes.

Sprinkle the top of each cupcake with some dragees. Demand that all consumers of your cupcakes sign official legal documents, absolving you - the baker from any wrong doing or liability what-so-ever.

Have A Happy And Dragee Free Week!!

The Myths, Mysteries and Makings of RED VELVET CAKE!

I like cake. I like to research the origins and stories of certain cake recipes from around the world. No cake however, has had me as stymied as this elusive 'Red Velvet Cake'. For a cake that is only one-hundred years old, there is surprisingly little fact to go on.

So, here I sit in a room sprinkled with Legos and small shoes - and I wonder.....and wonder. Last night as I was searching through pile after pile of papers trying to uncover ONE single, solitary clue as to where this cake came from and why in the world it is purported to be a "Southern Cake", my husband walked in.

"I can't seem to figure this darn thing out!" I said, slapping my hand on the pile of papers to my right. "There's NOTHING.... just nothing written about this cake that makes any sense at all!!"

"Well", he said, "Maybe there is no point to cake. Maybe it's like what Willy Wonka says about candy....It's just FUN!"

"There......is always a point to cake." I replied coldly.

"Oh, now you're just sounding crazy." He said, smiling.

"OUT! BLASPHEMER!!"

Don't mess with the Cake Lady. Ahhh......while he can build a fantastic cake pedestal, a Watson he is not. And so I sit, and ponder here on my own.

Myth:

Many people have called the Red Velvet Cake, "The Waldorf-Astoria Cake", "The One Hundred Dollar Cake", or the "Two Hundred and Fifty Dollar Cake", because as urban legend would have it, someone had to pay either $100 or $250 after they were given this recipe by The Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Yeah - just like that Neiman Marcus cookie recipe that circulated in the 90's (by the way, I tried that cookie recipe when I was a teenager and it wasn't that good). Both the cake and the cookie legends have been debunked. In fact, hotel records have shown that this cake was never served at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel at all! Hmmmm.....

Mystery:

In the 1940's and 1950's, a lady in Canada- the Matriarch of the Eaton’s Department Store chain was in-fact, credited as the 'inventor' of the Red Velvet Cake. It is said that her employees had to swear to keep the recipe a secret. Funny, because the recipe has been traced to certain newspapers as early as 1902. An elusive cover-up?

Blame it on Science:

I've read that a certain chemical reaction between the acidity in non-dutch-processed cocoa (cocoa not treated with alkali) and the baking soda was said to produce the 'red color'. This has since been debunked on several accounts, one of which has been in my kitchen. IF the aforementioned 'reaction' was true, then WHY, WHY, WHY do some of the earliest copies of this recipe contain pureed beets? Huh? Yeah, and the UFO's were really weather balloons! I don't buy it.

Southern?

As far as I can tell, the only thing Southern here is the base recipe for this cake, which is the Devil's Food Cake. IF Red Velvet Cake is just the original Devil's Food Cake, then why not just call the darn thing Devil's Food Cake and be done with it?

Fact:

It has been said that after Dutch-Processed cocoa was made widely available, the 'chemical reaction' (that has since been debunked), wasn't present and people had to add red dye to achieve the desired color. Bunk. What about the beets? I'm getting frustrated here.

The only real fact that I could pin down, was that in 1972 the Russian Government released a report claiming that Red Dye #2 could possibly cause cancer. This, and this alone put a halt to all production of the Red Velvet Cake.

I smell a conspiracy!!

Yeah! That's exactly what I'm sayin'!

The Backpacking Cakesters's "Dead Drop" Cherry- Red Velvet Cupcakes

A.K.A. Secret Agent Cupcakes, Code Name: Cherry Bomb

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, F.

Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
1 1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup sifted unsweetened cocoa - Not Dutch-processed (see!)
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2 - 4 tsp red food coloring

Sift together all dry ingredients. Set aside.

Beat butter till smooth and fluffy. Add sugar and whip till creamy. Add eggs, one at at time, stirring after every addition. Dump dry ingredients and the rest of the ingredients into your bowl in one fell swoop. Hurry up and mix this batter before your neighbors find out. Pour into 24 prepared cupcake tins. Bake for 10-15 minutes or until done. Cool on a wire rack and frost with Cream Cheese Frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

First, a word on Cream Cheese Frosting and Red Velvet Cake-

Cream Cheese Frosting is really one of the best frostings on Earth. I have heard it said that the best thing about a Red Velvet Cake is in fact, that it is a vehicle for Cream Cheese Frosting. For people who decrease the amount of cocoa in the cake recipe in order to achieve a startling red color, this claim must be true (a true Red Velvet Cake should be a deep burgundy, not a startling Red - keep the neighbors guessing, you know). However, my cake recipe is really very good and wonderful and chocolaty, so the Cream Cheese Frosting is really the perfect partner to it, and doesn't overshadow it in any way.

Further - Cream Cheese Frosting is very fussy and is terrible when it's too sweet, so you shouldn't follow the recipe to a 't'.

Here's what you do:

Get 1 box of Philly and 1 stick of butter. Mix them together well. Add 1 1/2 tsp real vanilla extract. Don't use the fake stuff or my arm will reach out of this computer and smack you. Mix, mix, mix. Measure out 4 cups confectioners sugar and add it 1/2 cup at a time until you find the perfect flavor mix FOR YOU. I like mine very cheesecakey (not too sweet) so I only use about three cups of the four. You see, cream cheese varies in 'twangyness' from box to box. Let your palate decide what to do.

Frost the cupcakes and top each with a cherry. DIVINE!

It is said that Conspiracy Theorists either have too much time on their hands, or desperately crave adventure. As I sit here heavily pregnant, in this room full of Legos and little shoes, I'm thinking that it must be the latter. Truthfully, I just wanted to make tiny little sunglasses for one of my cupcakes.

However.......just in case I'm on to something......REMEMBER....you heard it here first!!

Cue the Bond Music!

Have A Happy Week!!